Resistance is Futile – Just Kidding!
How does resistance show up for you? For me it depends.
Sometimes it shows up as a negative attitude.
Sometimes it shows up as self-sabotage.
Sometimes it shows up as a downright temper tantrum.
Sometimes it shows up as hiding.
And sometimes it shows up as all of the above!
One thing I know is “resistance is futile.” Just kidding! Throwing in a little Star Trek Borg humor for you Trekkies out there! Seriously though, what I do know with absolute certainty is:
Resistance = Fear
As some of you know, fear has been a huge part of my life. And though I have worked through and healed many different areas where fear affected my life, he still likes to poke at me when I feel vulnerable. While I was doing 1:1 Soul Support with Beth a few years ago, she gave me homework to be shared at my first EXPLORE Retreat. She asked me to write a letter breaking up with fear. I told her I could write an entire short story… and one day I still may! Instead, I wrote this letter as a poem breaking up with my fear:
I am writing this article because fear has been showing up for me in a big way the past couple of months.
I am a natural born teacher – it is in my soul and is my passion.
While working I had the opportunity to create from scratch and teach many different types of classes in the information technology world. From teaching plumbers, painters, electricians and sheet metal fabricators how to use a computer to teaching office personnel and co-workers many types of software programs over the years. I even taught a classroom full of fellow students how to cross-stitch while receiving formal instructor training with the Air Force.
I have always loved learning new things and sharing knowledge with others. In my personal life I am a Certified Registered Yoga Instructor as well as a Reiki Master. I have done a ton of work on myself in order to heal all sorts of trauma and I feel called to share my knowledge with others! I have offered Yoga and Reiki classes, as well as Reiki sessions, but never really publicized what I was offering. I even put together a workshop called “How to be There for Yourself”. But fear kicked in and with the anxiety mounting I turned what I had designed as a workshop into last month’s article.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love to write, but when I start to feel anxious about really putting myself out there, I start playing it small and use my writing to hide my God-given talent of teaching. As for the resistance showing up around this workshop, I experienced all of the reactions above, including the full-blown tantrum of telling the Universe I was NOT going to teach it over a computer! I self-sabotaged by convincing myself that I was still teaching by turning the workshop into an article. And while there is some truth to that, for me, there is nothing like the one-on-one experience of learning and teaching others.
All that said, I have grabbed the bull by the horns and will be working 1:1 again with Beth so that I can be all I am destined to be in this journey of life.
Stay tuned, more to come!
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!