Life Isn’t Lived Sitting on the Sidelines
Do you ever contemplate your own mortality? Mark Twain said it best, “Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.” For me personally there have been a lot of perks to each passing year. I have grown and changed in so many ways I don’t even recognize the person I was once…which is a good thing!
I no longer, for the most part, care what people think. And while I was never one to “keep up with the Joneses”, nor have designer label clothes and make-up, the older I get it becomes even less important. What is important to me is living life authentically, finding positivity in something every single day, treating myself and others with love and kindness and doing the things which bring me joy.
Sometimes it’s a challenge to remember that I am 58 years old, because most days I certainly don’t feel it! Yet when hearing of strokes and death starting to make its way through my childhood friends, crushes, and classmates, picking them off one after the other, something begins to change inside.
I am viewing my life in a different light than I ever have before.
Maybe this is because I am past the half-way point in my life and there are more years behind me than in front of me.
Maybe it’s because I try each and every day to live my best life. I’m not afraid to try new things and failure is a word that isn’t even in my vocabulary anymore. If I can dream it and I want to do it, then I have to try it, though even now there were some things that I just wouldn’t allow myself to do ~ playing it safe, I thought. And…
Maybe it’s because in this one instance where there might have been regret as a teenager and young adult, as a 53-year-old I was given the opportunity to see if there was anything to a crush I had in high school, which back then I was too afraid to pursue. It only took one date to find out there wasn’t, but I was able to find out for sure and for me there is peace and comfort in that.
I recently found out this individual, who I’ve known since I was 14 years old had a heart attack, was on life support and since there had been no brain activity for three days the family made the wrenching decision to remove the life support. Blessedly, the Universe spared them this decision, and my friend passed away peacefully on his own accord and as anyone who knew this man, knew he lived and loved life!
My friend’s death put my own mortality front and center.
Before I learned of his untimely death, I had already planned on flying in a 1920’s biplane with another friend at the local Barnstorming Carnival, and now I am more determined than ever to continue to do the things that scare the crap out of me! I’ve always dreamed of owning a convertible and after a couple days and some test drives, I now own one! Next up, I’d like to fly in a hot air balloon and I am someone who is fearful of heights.
Somewhere along the way I forgot how to take chances and do some scary, yet fun things. I’m not suggesting going crazy and not living within your means, pick something small, but a little scary to you and just do it!
I spent a lifetime of talking myself out of things I wanted to do or own by telling myself I didn’t need them. In the past few years, though, I’ve realized more of my dreams than ever because I have opened myself up to the Universe and allowed Her to guide me. What I know for certain is life is to be lived! And it is not lived sitting on the sidelines, because in a blink of an eye, it may be too late.
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!