It’s in the Pause

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*Inhale, pause, exhale* 

*Inhale, pause, exhale* 

*Inhale, pause, exhale* 

This is how I begin my practice on the mat. Well, this is how my teacher, Adriene, asks me to begin my practice on the mat.

I take a few moments to pay attention to the way the air feels on my nostrils. I notice the way my belly expands and contracts. I feel my body sitting on the floor. I let my shoulders drop and become present to myself. I pay attention to the pause.

I think we could all do with a few more intentional breaths these days, don’t you?

I wonder how many people don’t breathe with intention… probably more than I realize. I think the U.S. — maybe the world — has collectively been holding its breath the last few days, weeks, year. It’s time to let that go — exhale, let your shoulders drop, inhale, let your belly rise. Pause. Start again.

My concept of Living in the Midst feels particularly helpful these days. Pay attention, notice, name. It requires slowing down, acknowledging what’s going on both internally and externally, and being vulnerable to name what we’re experiencing. Just in the last week alone I can recall many moments when Living in the Midst would have benefited me — sometimes I was aware enough to pay attention, notice and name, other times I wasn’t. That’s part of it.

One thing I am paying attention to is how those around me are Living in the Midst… or not. I’d like to share a few stories with you.

Taste tester!

Someone I love is a very good baker. In general, she loves to work with her hands — crafts, puzzles, gardening, and baking. So, when she was feeling stressed over the limbo we experienced the week of November 1, she pulled out the flour, salt, eggs and cinnamon (along with the other necessary ingredients!) and baked cinnamon rolls. I loved seeing the responses she received after posting a picture on Facebook.

Not only did she experience a release using her hands to create something, she offered an opportunity for others to recall positive memories about her baking. Folks remembered her mother’s baking. They affirmed her skills and ability to channel her nervous energy. Some even verified the tastiness of her baking…

She was Living in the Midst.

She paid attention to what was going on inside of her. She noticed her nervousness and named it. And then she got to work. Instead of scrolling or watching that map, she used her hands to create — a good way to move through the stress cycle. I imagine there were some deep breaths involved too.

I know someone else who isn’t paying attention or noticing or naming — not in a helpful sense anyway. Whenever someone posts something on social media about the election, even if there isn’t a “side” presented, this person automatically responds about pro-life issues. Now, this person has a right to these beliefs. However, I think there is something deeper going on and if they could slow down and take a few breaths, they might realize that too.

These gut responses with lots of exclamation points lead me to think this person is afraid. I think fear underlines their responses. Fear of change, fear of a new paradigm, fear of losing power. I wonder what this person might learn if they took the time to pay attention: I keep responding to posts in the same way and I’m often off topic. I wonder what this person might learn if they took time to notice: Nothing changes, for myself or the other person, when I respond this way. I wonder what this person might learn if they took time to name:

I’m scared.

Just like baking cinnamon rolls doesn’t actually solve any problems, paying attention, noticing and naming doesn’t either. But. BUT! It gets us to a place where you can solve problems, where we are able to respond from our prefrontal cortex instead of the limbic system. We can respond with rational thought rather than from fear of threat. (Want to learn more about this? Read this or listen to this.)

It’s about the pause.

I think a lot of people are walking around holding their breath right now — maybe for their whole lives. We need more people breathing deeply — taking conscious inhales and exhales. I also think there are a lot of people walking around unaware of their emotions, their responses, their fears. We need more people Living in the Midst — paying attention, noticing, naming.

If nothing else breathing and Living in the Midst cause us to slow down, to pause, to wait a bit before responding. It’s in the pause where we might find more compassion for ourselves and others. It’s in the pause — it seems to be that’s where the work begins. Let’s all remember to take a pause.

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