The Gift of Space
There is so much we can learn from the younger generation. I recently watched a documentary called I Am Maris about Maris Degener. This young woman has an eating disorder and was able to find her way through the suffering of the disorder with the practice of yoga. It’s a beautiful, inspiring story and Maris is one of those youth who gives peace in knowing that the next generation will do, and in fact are doing, amazing things to change the world.
S P A C E : Venus and Jupiter
Holding space and creating space is a huge topic of interest to me. As I have continued to walk along my yoga path, the concept of “space” returns over and over. When I first heard teachers talk about “holding space” for students, I didn’t really understand what that meant. As I have further experienced having space held for me as a student, it became clear to me. When someone is holding space for another, they are giving that person an opportunity to be their authentic self with no judgment, no shame, no critical retort. Instead, the person holding space listens, consciously guides, and simply serves as that “safe” space for a person to just be.
As my teachers have held space for me, I have learned that holding space for others is a natural service for me with others.
I have held space for people quite often in work settings, allowing others to learn from their struggles, providing them support to grow into their talents, and securing a safe space for them to practice balance between their work and personal lives. In a yoga training for Accessible Yoga, I learned methods for teaching bed yoga to individuals. As I practiced with my partner, I led her through a gentle routine in her “bed” and guided her into Savasana – the final relaxation pose at the end of a yoga sequence.
I held space for her to find relaxation and comfort in her body and her spirit. She looked so peaceful, free of stress or anxiety, and held a gentle smile on her face. At that moment, I was struck with how meaningful and awe-inspiring the practice of holding space truly is. It was then that I realized THIS is what I do. THIS, holding space, is my purpose. THIS is what fills my heart with an abundance of joy.
It was only a week after that experience that I was packing up my office. I had made the decision to leave my job. A lot of things had been swirling around in my life that ultimately led up to this decision. I did not know where I would go next. I consciously chose not to jump into any random job next. I wanted space. I craved space. I needed space to find my energy again. I was burnt out, frustrated by leadership, and felt that I had no place to move or breathe.
I held space for others there, yet no one was holding space for me and I was suffocating.
Having discovered that sometimes we can be in a situation where there is no one around us to hold space for us to grow, it becomes so important that we learn how to create our own space. And until I learned this from the Maris Degener documentary, I didn’t even know I had that power. We can create our own space? Yes, I realized. We can create our own space. We MUST create our own space. If we wait for others to create space on our own behalf, then we give up that power. The space others hold for us may not be the space we need, the space we desire, or the space that will allow us to grow. And when that is the case, we need to have the ability to hold that space for ourselves so that we don’t fall back into old patterns that drain our energy. I finally realized that holding space for others was my practice, but holding space for ME was something I had not yet learned.
As I further reflected on this idea of creating my own space, it became clear to me that I unwittingly had taken the first step by letting go of a time-consuming job that was draining my energy. Energy that I needed to grow. Energy that I needed to serve others. By leaving that job, I created space in my life. That space consists of time to breathe, opportunities to try new things, the ability to go on life adventures and explore my inner world. Until I began to understand this, I was still searching and waiting. Searching for that next perfect job to apply for. Waiting for the call to schedule an interview. Searching for a great idea to start a business. Waiting for something from the outside world to tell me what to do next. I filled my beautiful open space with these get nowhere fast tasks of searching and waiting.
By learning to let go of the searching and waiting, I began to cultivate self-love through self-care.
I allowed myself space to relax and breathe. I let go of the emotions and feelings that were mixed up in leaving a job that up to this point in my life, had been the most amazing work experience in my career. I found myself again and in finding myself, I created more space in my life. I discovered my power and, with the energy of that empowerment flowing, I flipped the script. I’m not searching or waiting anymore. Now I am creating. I am living every day, breathing in awareness, and consciously doing the things that I love. I awake each day and choose how I will use this glorious open space to fulfill me. In this space my journey continues. In this space there is wonder and curiosity and excitement. In this space there is creation and opportunity.
Are you holding space for yourself? Or are you filling up all the nooks and crannies in your life with activities, over thinking, and doing for others? During this holiday season I encourage you to give yourself a gift – the gift of holding space for yourself. Time for you and you alone to rest, to connect with your heart, and to grow in your spirit. Space is vast and it is limitless. Space offers opportunity and is filled with adventure. And best of all, holding space inside yourself will bring peace to your heart. It’s the greatest gift I have ever opened and my holiday wish for you is to experience the power of holding space for yourself – with no judgment, allowing intuition to guide, and feeling safe in your own heart and being.
It is up to us to create a space where we belong.
It is not something to be discovered, it is something to be created. Something we can only construct once we shed ourselves of the fear that there is no one and no place to accept us.
– Maris Degener
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!